Gay Men & Secrets: Do all gay men have them?

Gay Men & Secrets: Do all gay men have them?

November 2nd, 2011 @

I was chatting to a man earlier today who suggested to me that men tend to be secretive.

It took me a moment to consider that statement before I responded with something along the lines of: “Sometimes we may hide things away intentionally. Other times it can be less intentional”.

Yes, there are times when men may deliberately be secretive. This could happen in a range of situations where they don’t want someone else to know something about themselves, their thoughts, their behaviours or even their desires. But then again, I wonder if there is any difference between men and women, between gay and straight men, in relation to these kinds of secrets?

On the other hand, I suspect that men may be far better at unintentionally being secretive.

What do I mean by this?

Well, given that men overall tend to express their thoughts, feelings and emotions less often, it is suggestive that when it comes to certain aspects of themselves, men will tend to hide parts away. However, this ‘hiding’ may not necessarily be intentional. It may simply be that they are uncomfortable about expresseing these aspects of themselves, or haven’t learnt how, or possibly they’ve been raised in a way that specifically cautions them about expressing these parts?

So, could it be fair to say that most men have many secretive aspects of themselves? Secretive … because the people in their lives have no knowledge of these parts? Secretive … because the men themselves may not even be fully aware of these parts within themselves either?

Sometimes for gay, bi or curious men, there’s a choice or a need to keep one’s sexual orientation secret.

Do you have any secretive parts of yourself? Are there parts of you that others don’t know about? Are there parts of you that you don’t really know very well either?

It’s not always appropriate to share all parts of ourselves to everyone in our lives. It is normal to moderate our words and behaviours to the situation or the environment in which we find ourselves. In fact, some of the most effective individuals in our society are really good at doing this.

However, are there parts of yourself that never see the light of day?

Do all men have these kinds of secrets, or just a few?

Do you?

Category : Blog &Featured &Secrets

Comments are closed.

Latest Posts


"I went to see Harley feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, with challenges in all areas of my life. Through a number of sessions, I came to feel focused, more certain and refreshed. Seeing him not only gave me fantastic support at a difficult time, but at last I feel like I am in the driver’s seat in my life and my business. Harley has a natural and intuitive approach, and seems to draw from a great depth of technique and experience in his work. I would recommend him unreservedly for this kind of work. Thanks for your amazing help and support during this time!"

Business Owner, Sydney